12-22-10

Here are a couple of terrible photos from my phone. I'm having too much fun christmasing to remember to use my camera!

Christmas time is for:

Spending all day in comfy new wintery pajamas



Spa day with my favorite Heide ladies. (I was so relaxed, i actually fell asleep during part of my facial! excuse the weird face)



Putting gifts under our tree. I'm so excited about giving gifts!



Weve also been up to lots of other things. Hiring a nanny so I can work part time at Liliana's. Attending a Santa-sing-a-long. Being surprised by a generous and thoughtful client. Wishing it wasn't quite so cold. Being thankful.

We are busy and snuggly and happy.

12-14-10

Charlie and I went to rock n glam today so I could get my hair done. I have to admit, I was pretty terrified he'd be terrible but he did great!


He even helped sweep!


I wish I had a cute pic of the new hair, but all Ive got is this one lily took tonight. Darker and shorter. Just something new.


We are totally loving the holiday season this year. So much Christmas spirit.

Joy to the world!

12-11-10

snow day!

charlie is in LOVE with snow. hes been looking longingly out the windows at it for days but I didnt have any sort of snow clothes for him, so he didn't get to play in it right away. anyway, hes found his element!

and given the 12+ inch blizzard we're having tonight, i assume we'll be enjoying another snow play day tomorrow.

snow angel. she thought of doing this all on her own!


it was cold.

how old do they have to be before i can just send them outside to play in the snow and i stay in and make hot cocoa, because im excited for then. i got snow in my pants and was cold the whole rest of the day.

12-4-10

As a mom, most firsts are great. First smiles, first steps, first hugs.
Not great? First flu as a family of four. Ew.

2 days of flu means Charlie went straight into disposable diapers, lily wore whatever mismatched, too-small clothes she found up in her room. I wore a dirty pajama shirt all day. We were quite a wreck but my kids were snuggled and comforted and I didnt die, despite my super sad "I want my mooooommmy" at some point between running to the bathroom and crashing back in bed.
I got hit the hardest and had to really rely on Dave (also sick, but not as weak/vomity). Its times like that, where I'm vomiting into a bowl while nursing a sleeping baby that I'm so, so thankful I've got someone to hold my hair and take care of my vomit bowl. I love you dave! Thanks for taking good care of us!

Lily took this:





Also, so glad we got our Christmas tree up before we got sick, because we've all been laying on the couch staring at it for our sick days!





Thank goodness we are on the mend today.

12-2-10

I have read a lot of information on the tiny screen of my iphone, nursing charlie back to sleep at 2, 3, 4am. At some point, after hours of googling "infant, must be touching mom 24/7" or "infant, no self soothe skills", I read an analogy that stuck and comforted me in my tired and hopeless state.

Something about new souls. New, empty little wonderful souls that we get to fill. The idea would be to fill this little soul with love, comfort, respect & trust. Obviously when they are new, empty little vessels, you've got to just pour that love in, and get very little back. They are empty, after all. But soon they start to fill and find their own footing and need less and less from you and grow up to be amazing super balanced genius people and cure cancer and find a way to create world peace and sustain life on other planets.. or..well.. I read it at 2am, I may be remembering it wrong.

But it helped me because it's not that I couldn't handle that particular night-feeding, or that he needed to be worn in a carrier for 8-12 hours a day. It's not that he screamed unrelentingly if he was unhappy, or that I didn't seem to know how to help. It's that I could't see an end in sight, and I wasn't sure how much more I had to give. For some reason, thinking of his empty little soul really helped. (also made me wonder about reincarnation-Lily came with a prefilled soul!)

Anyway. I think it took one year. Im calling it: As of Charlie's first birthday, this kid has been bouncing back the love. His cup overfloweth. He is loving life, he's engaged in the world around him, he's funny and smart and sensitive. He's independent in exploring and playing, and he is truly a joy. I'm not the only one who's noticed. He's turning into an awesome little man.

12-1-10

Oops! Alright everyone. November was a busy month. I fell off the blogging wagon. New month. New resolve. Almost a new year!

I'm trying to find a rhythm that works for continuing this blog through next year. Daily is getting to be a bit too much for me (obviously, since I hardly posted this month) so i'm trying to find my groove.. We'll see. I'm promising once a week and hoping for more.

blame the kids. they've been downright adorable, no time for blogging, too much hugging, kissing and playing.

11-30-10

We enjoyed a morning at the Childrens Museum. We've been trying to "save" it as much as possible for enjoying this winter when we cant play outside, but we've already been several times since they reopened in August. So fun!

This time we met a few baby friends there, and though the museum really is geared more at older kids, they had a super fun time.

Also, I happen to love the names of all the babies:

Charlie, Lily, Quinn and Daria.

Charlie loves water. Splashing friends with it, pouring into and out of things. Fighting about who gets which measuring cup. Love.

My Lily loves the shadow room.

and the "princess bridge" where she like to have deep introspective thoughts

Charlie loves this cool telescope

and the biiig open space (local peeps, this place was EMPTY, even though it was the weekend, because we were there at about 10am. It was MUCH busier by the time we were leaving at 11:30-12)

Childrens Museum: Conquered

to be continued.... all winter long... because we have a membership, and it is awesome there.

11-25-10

Thanksgiving was amazing! Love sharing my kids with family!

This is lily and her second (?) cousin Kyla. They dont look super happy, because i totally ruined their super cool secret fort time by coming in to take a picture. They had run through the entire house stealing every pillow to do this, it was adorable.

What a great day. We stayed so late visiting, playing dictionary game and charades, drinking, eating, enjoying.

SO thankful for great family, great friends, great luck in life..

11-24-10

We had no thanksgiving eve obligations because we were going up to kenosha and dave's family is so great at taking care of everything! I groomed a bunch of dogs but midafternoon, Lily and I were talking about thanksgiving and she wanted to help make something for the meal the next day, so we made pie!

Reminder: I am a terrible cook. I am an equally terrible baker.

However, I am a good mom, and when my kid wants to bake, we bake.

OMG the kid is obsessed with cracking eggs

Apple: B+ (I love how the lattice turned out!) Pumpkin: C- (it tasted delicious though!)

We wound up with so many pies at thanksgiving! We brought the two pumpkins we made into Liliana's for our staff who lily says she's very thankful for. Too cute!

11-23-10

We ventured out to Black earth meats, a butcher in a nearby town, to pick up some local organic beef for a tasting menu at lilianas. We order from them occasionally, but had to drive out to pick up because the specific beef dave wanted was being butchered the morning of the tasting menu for him. So odd in todays world of trucked in imported foods, frozen, freeze dried, artificial foods. As an animal lover and, as my mom says, "recovering vegetarian", I have a lot of trouble with the concept of eating meat, and most of it comes from my issues with the treatment of the animals while they are alive. Suffering, pain, fear... thats what gets me. So when I hear of an Animal Welfare Approved butcher that offers humanely butchered meat from local farms, I just think thats great! It's hard for me to visit a place where people are bringing deer they hunted to have it processed, because.. well.. bambi! It's hard for me to see the little signs of death and sadness, like a bit of blood on a butchers apron, or loading our order in the car and realizing our order is warm, because it was just a cow. Just because its uncomfortable to learn about doesn't mean it's better for me or the animals to stop at a mcdonalds and pick up an unidentifiable meat patty. Quite the opposite.

Im rambling. Point is, yay for black earth meats for being awesome.

11-21-10

Charlie at brunch from Tiffany Heide on Vimeo.

11-20-10

charlie at a hotel from Tiffany Heide on Vimeo.

11-19-10

we had a giant jacuzzi in our room at the hotel for my birthday. for some reason in this picture it looks to me like a giant sink with a tiny lily in it.

11-18-10

Happy Birthday to me!!

it was a great birthday but one amazing highlight was when Anne and Mike had a local bakery make me a replica of this amazing cake from a blog called cake wrecks that ive been reading for years. amazing!

11-13-10

Okay. I've been stewing about this a few days and it's gotta come out.

In a conversation with Dave, someone used the word Fag. This is completely unacceptable to me and has had me thinking for days about how I (apparently sometimes incorrectly) assume that most of the people in our life are not ignorant hate filled jerks.

So I'm left wondering a few things.

In this situation, it was a customer at our restaurant, as well as the parent of a friend of Lily's...

I feel letting the conversation continue was agreeing with that kind of hateful language. Dave was so shocked that he doesn't remember specifically what he said, but he sort of brushed it off and changed the subject. I'm awkward and uncomfortable with face to face confrontation of any kind. so...

What, SPECIFICALLY, can be said in the moment to make a stand, with the knowledge we HAVE to see this person again.

In addition, I wonder what about us signaled this person that we'd be okay with that.

It's hard for me to imagine anyone could look into the eyes of their child and not instantly feel that EVERY person needs to be treated with equal love, respect and rights.

When I look at Lily and Charlie, I can find the strength to make a stand for a world they will grow up in.

A world I hope will accept them, whoever they love. Whoever they want to be.

11-12-10

I have recently realized that even though I miss sprawling out in bed, there are perks to Charlie having bullied his way into our room at night. And I don't think I've ever mentioned how lucky I am.

My baby sleeps anywhere I am. From any bedtime until any wake up time. No problem.
It may not have been my plan to cosleep, but this kid knew what he needed. I love love love attachment parenting for teaching me its okay to follow his lead.


In a few years, the seemingly endless demands on me will start to fade. Already lily is so self sufficient. She obviously doesn't need to be carried, or be nursed or have her diaper changed. She doesn't need help eating, or going potty or getting to sleep or even playing! She loves company, but the demands on me are small and enjoyable. Soon enough, Charlie won't need me as much, someday he'll hardly need me at all! I can suffer a bit of backache now so I'll have a little less heartache later, knowing I soaked up every minute of snuggly baby I could.

11-10-10

You just cant stay inside on a fall day that hits 70 degrees!

Big, crunchy dry leaves!

Jump!

Charlie seemed like the leaves, but was definitely not going to jump in them with big sister!

i love experiencing being a mom to a second kid. being more relaxed about him spending time in dirt, grass, leaves etc. I was always so worried about everything with lily and i'm much happier to let charlie explore the world. it just feels right (and amazingly, he has not yet died from getting a little dirty in the yard!) and it's so cute!

Charlie helped daddy put in a little brick step by our front porch

Thanks charlie! you are so good at stealing the caulk gun and putting rocks from the planters into the bin of bricks! What would we do without you!?

11-8-10

pretty relaxed day. so nice to calm down and recover from our crazy days.

here is lily, sampling and ordering our sushi dinner tonight

11-7-10

Lily celebrated being 4 with a princess brunch at Lilianas. More pictures to come if Parry took some during the celebration. I didn't even think about my camera. I ran around tending to princesses all morning, and soaking up as much cute princessy goodness as I could. I know these days are fleeting, and someday she'll be a big girl. I'll remember this.

She woke up in the morning to find a gift from Auntie Tami in California.

Here I present:

The Princessiest Princess that ever Princessed

She LOVES her new dress.

I can't believe she's 4. That she can handle sharing her birthday party with 100 other little princesses. That she can hold her own in conversations with strangers for hours while I try to help with restaurant things. That she's so beautiful. That she's everything anyone could ever want in a daughter, and she's mine.

I love you Liliana

11-6-10

Here's Charlie, looking dashing in his tuxedo pajamas for Dave's poker night. What a stylish young man!

(technically, this way Sunday, not Saturday, but I have no picture for Saturday! Oops!)

11-5-10

We are still trying to soak up the nice days, even when its very windy and chilly. "Nice" weather is quickly going to become anything that isn't snowy!

11-4-10

This is what dave came home to.

Bedtime tea parties are awesome.

11-2-10

Recently, I had a revelation. When I was 15, music was my world. My 10 favorite bands defined who I was and all my class notes had lyrics to my favorite songs in the margins.
It was what made me happy. Today a lot of things make me happy. Hearing Lily singing to herself in her room every morning. Watching my kids stretch their hands between the carseats to hold hands while I drive. Nursing a baby to sleep each night. Being proud of my husband. Being good at what I do. Knowing what I want to be when I grow up, and that I'm already there.
But somewhere along the way, music lost it's place in my daily routine. It's no surprise I've felt a little something was missing.
I listen to music, sure.. I play the radio when I run errands. We have live music at our restaurant 6 days a week. But that is a lifetime away from sitting on the floor of my 15 year old selfs bedroom, twinkly lights around all the windows, listening to Dashboard Confessional, Alkaline Trio, The Ataris and Death Cab For Cutie and feeling like "yes. someone gets it" someone knows what it's like to love so much it hurts. someone gets what its like to angst about how amazing this life is. someone else lives in the moment. someone else wrote a song for this moment.

so I reintroduced music. I dragged a beat up old cd player down to my grooming salon. I listen to my ipod while I learn how to cook. and Voila, a little bit of the silly 15 year old comes back. The girl who had to blast NOFX's "linoleum" while installing linoleum with her friends (even if it meant hours of listening to one song on repeat)
Somehow, I'm a mother to a four year old daughter, but I let her get hot pink extensions in her hair today. I listen to Save Ferris while I run payroll. I can do both. I can be both.

Back to payroll. (but i'm keeping my pandora radio running in the background, gosh darnit)

11-1-10

Happy Fourth Birthday Liliana!

We are having her big princess party on sunday, but we couldn't let her birthday go by without a little celebrating!

We woke her with a special breakfast (pumpkin pancakes and chocolate milk. yum!) and handmade cards. Then after preschool she got to pick where she wanted to go out to lunch, she picked ella's deli.

(charlie approves of ella's deli)

she really wanted to go on the carousel but we weren't sure it was still running this time of year. it was still open, hooray! and since it was her birthday they even gave her a certificate for a free ride on the carousel. how fun!

charlie loved waving and saying "hiiiii!" everytime lily appeared around the carousel again

not many pictures of the rest of the day. but there were balloons, treats, gifts and hugs and fun and cuteness. she is one loved little girl.

We love you, Liliana!