10-19-10

bonus birthday video!

Charlie's First Steps from Tiffany Heide on Vimeo.

And it's Charlie's birthday, but I'm going to take a minute for me here. A year ago I felt the pain of laboring with a 10lb baby and I was brave and determined. My body is far from perfect but it was strong and beautiful in it's own way to naturally and safely deliver a big and healthy baby boy.

And it doesn't end there. This past year I have had some of my darkest moments. My "needy" baby is an amazingly different experience than my first, an "easy" baby. I have felt disappointment and guilt about things no one should. My body has screamed in pain from carrying 25lbs of baby every minute of the day, and-instead of resting- being tangled around his sleeping body all night. I've felt alone and unsupported with a baby who demands from only me when I had nothing left to give.

But we move on. My body heals, grows stronger. My soul has stretched to make room for both my babies. The strain of the constant need has turned into a deep and intense love.

I've learned I'm strong enough to do this.

I'm lucky to do this.